21. When an area of a chromatid is exchanged with the matching area on a chromatid of its homologous chromosome, _____ occurs.
(1 point)
crossing over
mutagenesis
hybridization
fertilization
22. The _____ produced by each parent are shown along the sides of a Punnett square.
(1 point)
zygotes
offspring
gametes
hybrids
23. Mendel%26#039;s law of segregation states that during meiosis, the factors that control each trait separate, and only _____ from each pair is/are passed to the offspring.
(1 point)
one factor
the dominant trait
two factors
the recessive trait
24. In chickens, rose comb (R) is dominant to single comb (r). A homozygous rose-combed rooster is mated with a single-combed hen. All of the chicks in the F1 generation were kept together as a group for several years. They were allowed to mate only within their own group. What is the expected phenotype of the F2 chicks?
(1 point)
100% rose comb
75% rose comb and 25% single comb
100% single comb
50% rose comb and 50% single comb
25. A DNA nucleotide may be made up of a phosphate group, along with _____.
(1 point)
deoxyribose sugar and uracil
ribose sugar and adenine
deoxyribose sugar and thymine
ribose sugar and cytosine
Figure 11-4
26. What type of mutation has occurred in Figure 11-4?
(1 point)
point mutation
frame shift
lethal
protein
Figure 12-1
27. What type of inheritance pattern does the trait represented by the shaded symbols in Figure 12-1 illustrate?
(1 point)
incomplete dominance
multiple alleles
codominance
sex-linked
28. In humans, red-green color blindness is _____.
(1 point)
caused by a recessive allele
equally common in both sexes
inherited in males from their fathers
produced in males by a heterozygous genotype
29. A technique that may be employed in the Human Genome Project is _____.
(1 point)
PCR
automated gene sequencers
gel electrophoresis
all of these
Figure 14-4
30. According to Figure 14-4, in how many eras have mammals existed?
(1 point)
2
4
5
7
31. A pattern of evolution that results when two unrelated species begin to appear similar because of environmental conditions is _____.
(1 point)
disruptive selection
convergent evolution
directional selection
divergent evolution
32. Which combination of characteristics in a population would provide the greatest potential for evolutionary change?
(1 point)
small population, few mutations
small population, many mutations
large population, few mutations
large population, many mutations
33. Most early hominid fossils have been found in _____.
(1 point)
Egypt
France
Africa
North America
34. Which factor may have played a large role in human evolution?
(1 point)
a geologic event that released much radiation into the environment, which in time resulted in an increased mutation rate
climatic changes that caused existing primates to search for new food sources
flooding due to melting glaciers causing primates to seek refuge in the trees
massive grassland fires that caused existing primates to flee to the mountains
Figure 16-4
35. Which characteristic of the skulls in figure 16-4 shows an increase in intelligence?
(1 point)
increased brain cavity size
decreased teeth size
smaller eye sockets
rounder jaw
Short Answer
Help me brought less anwser in?
why are you trying to get us to do your homework for ya? Your not going to learn anything that way.
Reply:21) Crossing Over
22) Gametes (sperm, egg)
23) The dominant trait
24) No Clue
25) ribose sugar and adenine
26) No Clue (cant see figure)
27) No Clue
28) Caused by a recessive allele
29) All of these
30) No Clue
31) No Clue
32) small population, many mutations
33) No Clue
34) climatic changes that caused existing primates to search for new food sources
35) Increased Brain cavity size
Reply:21) Crossing Over
22) Gametes (sperm, egg) i only gave you two answers because you said short answer.
Reply:I%26#039;m calling your mama.
Reply:21.crossing over
22.offspring
23.the dominant trait
24.75% rose comb and 25% single comb
25.deoxyribose sugar and thymine
26.No figure
27.No figure
28.equally common in both sexes
29.PCR
30.No figure.
31.divergent evolution
32.large population, few mutations
33.Africa
34.climatic changes that caused existing primates to search for new food sources
35.no figure
.
performing arts
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Older people will understand this. younger generation probably wont.?
but to the all generations who had it better.?%26gt; CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THE KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE
1920%26#039;s, 30%26#039;s 40%26#039;s, 50%26#039;s, 60%26#039;s and 70%26#039;s !!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, tuna from a can, and didn%26#039;t get tested for diabetes or cervical cancer.
Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets or shoes, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a Ute on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
Take away food was limited to fish and chips, no pizza shops, McDonalds, KFC, Subway or Red Rooster.
Even though all the shops closed at 6.00pm and didn%26#039;t open on the weekends, somehow we didn%26#039;t starve to death!
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.
We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner store and buy fruit tingles and some crackers to blow up frogs with.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soft drinks with sugar in it, but we weren%26#039;t overweight because......
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. We built tree houses and cubby houses and played in creek beds with matchbox cars.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo%26#039;s, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no
Lawsuits from these accidents.
Only girls had pierced ears!
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
You could only buy Easter Eggs and Hot Cross buns at Easter time.......no really!
We were given BB guns and sling shots for our 10th birthdays,
We drank milk laced with Strontium 90 from cows that had eaten grass covered in nuclear fallout from the atomic testing at Maralinga in 1956.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend%26#039;s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!
Mum didn%26#039;t have to go to work to help dad make ends meet!
Footy had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn%26#039;t had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
Our teachers used to belt us with big sticks and leather staps and bully%26#039;s always ruled the playground at school.
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
Our parents got married before they had children and didn%26#039;t invent stupid names for their kids like %26#039;Kiora%26#039; and %26#039;Blade%26#039; (Ed. Nothing wrong with Blade (named in honour of champion ruckman Brendan Lade))
This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
The past 70 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned
HOW TO
DEAL WITH IT ALL!
And YOU are one of them!
CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good.
And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn%26#039;t it?!
PS -The big type is because your eyes are shot at your age
Play Movie Mash-up and win BIG prizes!
Get closer to the jungle… I%26#039;m a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!
Older people will understand this. younger generation probably wont.?
Well, seeing as I%26#039;m half a century old just after Christmas....I have to agree with you wholeheartedly!!
I remember waking up with frost on the INSIDE of the bedroom windows, where the condensation from our breath had frozen onto the inside of the window....NO central heating in those days I%26#039;m afraid. All we had was a coal fire in the living room....and ALL our rubbish went on there, which kept down the amount of rubbish sent to the tip!!
The only entertainment we had was Top of the Pops on a Thursday night at 7.00pm or a radio that was quite boring....except if you found radio Caroline, but then that would fade in and out.....remember that?
I was never in, always out with my friends. We kept ourselves amused in those days.
O%26#039;h nostalgia, what a wonderful thing that is? xXx
Reply:Yes those were truly barbaric times! JK! Too bad younger people won%26#039;t be able to experience these things. Most are too wrapped up in themselves %26amp; the technology which enables this behavior. Oh well...
Reply:I agree( born in54)It is too bad that the world has turned into a dangerous place for children.I must say though that many are way to spoiled now but then again there are some real dangers out there nowdays.
I think you forgot to mention that many of us had parents who would drive drunk after viisting friends and relatives and some moms where totally drug heads with their valuims ect.We did survive though!
Reply:Absolutely spot on.
I was born in 1962.
how did we survive?????????????????
Reply:All that made me laugh,and its absolutly true.
Reply:That%26#039;s awesome. But you did have hippies, and disco... so you didn%26#039;t make it through completely unfazed. :-)
Reply:So true
Reply:And now Iam 3 mins older from reading all that
And we used straws to blow up frogs.
Happy days.
Some of the kids born today are born with HIV and addicted to crack cocaine or heroin.
Its the same Sh@t differant decades different toys.
Psp are bring out a game were you go out and play all day falling out of trees and blowing up frogs. So the kids dont have to go out.
Sad Days
Reply:That is a bloody good point!!!! I%26#039;m only 25 and have 2 sons and i wish i was born in the 40%26#039;5/50%26#039;s. Nowadays nobody knows the meaning of life, everything gets handed to them on a plate(of from there parents credit cards) I can remember going to my friends house when i was little and it was a bit away from my mums house, my son is 5 and i wont let him out of the garden, its a sad world we live in now. The more people try to improve things the worse it is getting. I wish people nowadays would think more and live more for there familys instead of living for money and trying to get better than everyone else.! x
Reply:and many of the things you have listed, are the reasons why when we were little we didn%26#039;t have the childhood ailments that kids have today.
my husbands saying to our daughter when her kids are dirty or eating things they shouldn%26#039;t - mud, grass, fluff etc is %26quot;you will eat plenty of s--t before you die%26quot;
i was a 1966 child and neil was a 1964 child
Reply:I was born in the 60s, I can JUST remember watching the moon landing and the Beatles splitting up (my big sis cried for hours!), and I agree totally.
I remember playing in the dirt in our back yard WHILST eating a jam sandwich (white bread too!), riding my bike before helmets and knee-pads were even thought of, playing with matches (AND a can of lighter petrol!), sitting on my dad%26#039;s knee while he was driving (and smoking!), spending every day of the school holidays playing outside (we lived in Glasgow, main roads and all)..and yeh, I%26#039;m totally fine.
To put things into perspective, my friend has just bought a new car, one of the options was an %26#039;antibactrerial steering wheel%26#039; !! JEEZUS!!
Reply:1960....spot on obeservation.....the good old days .....i never thought id say that........lmao
Reply:I am actually a kid, but that actually touches me! I always knew I was born in the wrong time period! My dad always tells me about when he came to this country, he had the best child experiences ever because he go to the pool all day and swim without there being any harm, or he mad 300 dollars in a short amount of time because he actually had a job at 13! Or how he would walk with his friends without there being the danger of a creepy people wanting to do something to them. My mom also tells me how she and her friends just use to roam around the neighborhood playing until dinner.
Those were the times, and I wish I had experienced them!
mortgage rate
1920%26#039;s, 30%26#039;s 40%26#039;s, 50%26#039;s, 60%26#039;s and 70%26#039;s !!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, tuna from a can, and didn%26#039;t get tested for diabetes or cervical cancer.
Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets or shoes, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a Ute on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
Take away food was limited to fish and chips, no pizza shops, McDonalds, KFC, Subway or Red Rooster.
Even though all the shops closed at 6.00pm and didn%26#039;t open on the weekends, somehow we didn%26#039;t starve to death!
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.
We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner store and buy fruit tingles and some crackers to blow up frogs with.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soft drinks with sugar in it, but we weren%26#039;t overweight because......
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. We built tree houses and cubby houses and played in creek beds with matchbox cars.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo%26#039;s, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no
Lawsuits from these accidents.
Only girls had pierced ears!
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
You could only buy Easter Eggs and Hot Cross buns at Easter time.......no really!
We were given BB guns and sling shots for our 10th birthdays,
We drank milk laced with Strontium 90 from cows that had eaten grass covered in nuclear fallout from the atomic testing at Maralinga in 1956.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend%26#039;s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!
Mum didn%26#039;t have to go to work to help dad make ends meet!
Footy had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn%26#039;t had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
Our teachers used to belt us with big sticks and leather staps and bully%26#039;s always ruled the playground at school.
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
Our parents got married before they had children and didn%26#039;t invent stupid names for their kids like %26#039;Kiora%26#039; and %26#039;Blade%26#039; (Ed. Nothing wrong with Blade (named in honour of champion ruckman Brendan Lade))
This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
The past 70 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned
HOW TO
DEAL WITH IT ALL!
And YOU are one of them!
CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good.
And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn%26#039;t it?!
PS -The big type is because your eyes are shot at your age
Play Movie Mash-up and win BIG prizes!
Get closer to the jungle… I%26#039;m a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!
Older people will understand this. younger generation probably wont.?
Well, seeing as I%26#039;m half a century old just after Christmas....I have to agree with you wholeheartedly!!
I remember waking up with frost on the INSIDE of the bedroom windows, where the condensation from our breath had frozen onto the inside of the window....NO central heating in those days I%26#039;m afraid. All we had was a coal fire in the living room....and ALL our rubbish went on there, which kept down the amount of rubbish sent to the tip!!
The only entertainment we had was Top of the Pops on a Thursday night at 7.00pm or a radio that was quite boring....except if you found radio Caroline, but then that would fade in and out.....remember that?
I was never in, always out with my friends. We kept ourselves amused in those days.
O%26#039;h nostalgia, what a wonderful thing that is? xXx
Reply:Yes those were truly barbaric times! JK! Too bad younger people won%26#039;t be able to experience these things. Most are too wrapped up in themselves %26amp; the technology which enables this behavior. Oh well...
Reply:I agree( born in54)It is too bad that the world has turned into a dangerous place for children.I must say though that many are way to spoiled now but then again there are some real dangers out there nowdays.
I think you forgot to mention that many of us had parents who would drive drunk after viisting friends and relatives and some moms where totally drug heads with their valuims ect.We did survive though!
Reply:Absolutely spot on.
I was born in 1962.
how did we survive?????????????????
Reply:All that made me laugh,and its absolutly true.
Reply:That%26#039;s awesome. But you did have hippies, and disco... so you didn%26#039;t make it through completely unfazed. :-)
Reply:So true
Reply:And now Iam 3 mins older from reading all that
And we used straws to blow up frogs.
Happy days.
Some of the kids born today are born with HIV and addicted to crack cocaine or heroin.
Its the same Sh@t differant decades different toys.
Psp are bring out a game were you go out and play all day falling out of trees and blowing up frogs. So the kids dont have to go out.
Sad Days
Reply:That is a bloody good point!!!! I%26#039;m only 25 and have 2 sons and i wish i was born in the 40%26#039;5/50%26#039;s. Nowadays nobody knows the meaning of life, everything gets handed to them on a plate(of from there parents credit cards) I can remember going to my friends house when i was little and it was a bit away from my mums house, my son is 5 and i wont let him out of the garden, its a sad world we live in now. The more people try to improve things the worse it is getting. I wish people nowadays would think more and live more for there familys instead of living for money and trying to get better than everyone else.! x
Reply:and many of the things you have listed, are the reasons why when we were little we didn%26#039;t have the childhood ailments that kids have today.
my husbands saying to our daughter when her kids are dirty or eating things they shouldn%26#039;t - mud, grass, fluff etc is %26quot;you will eat plenty of s--t before you die%26quot;
i was a 1966 child and neil was a 1964 child
Reply:I was born in the 60s, I can JUST remember watching the moon landing and the Beatles splitting up (my big sis cried for hours!), and I agree totally.
I remember playing in the dirt in our back yard WHILST eating a jam sandwich (white bread too!), riding my bike before helmets and knee-pads were even thought of, playing with matches (AND a can of lighter petrol!), sitting on my dad%26#039;s knee while he was driving (and smoking!), spending every day of the school holidays playing outside (we lived in Glasgow, main roads and all)..and yeh, I%26#039;m totally fine.
To put things into perspective, my friend has just bought a new car, one of the options was an %26#039;antibactrerial steering wheel%26#039; !! JEEZUS!!
Reply:1960....spot on obeservation.....the good old days .....i never thought id say that........lmao
Reply:I am actually a kid, but that actually touches me! I always knew I was born in the wrong time period! My dad always tells me about when he came to this country, he had the best child experiences ever because he go to the pool all day and swim without there being any harm, or he mad 300 dollars in a short amount of time because he actually had a job at 13! Or how he would walk with his friends without there being the danger of a creepy people wanting to do something to them. My mom also tells me how she and her friends just use to roam around the neighborhood playing until dinner.
Those were the times, and I wish I had experienced them!
mortgage rate
My daughter will be one in october but?
my baby girl will be one in october and i cant wait but see my family isnt perfect but my daughters dads side of the family is dirty i mean they wont take baths and they stink and my side of the family is clean and i am embarassed to invite his side of the family to my daughters birthday but he really wants them to be there i mean they are really dirty one of the older sisters has mold in her hair where she never brushes or even washes she said the last time she actually brushed her hais was about 2and a half years ago and she wont wear deodorant his mom doesnt brush her teeth or she very rarely changes her cloeths they smell like open *** and **** they have a rooster running around in city limits throughout there house shits and pees everywhere and they wont clean it up what wuld you do and what should i do?
My daughter will be one in october but?
I would agree with the option of 2 parties. However, you will have to confront the situation. She is your child, and she is more important than the family of the father. You will eventually have to do what is best for your daughter no matter who it hurts, or how much. Try talking with the father first about the cleanliness issue, and if he won%26#039;t deal with his family, it will sadly be up to you. Make sure that they understand that there are things that must be done before they can be around your daughter. If they won%26#039;t do them, then it is their choice to remove themselves from your daughter%26#039;s life.
It isn%26#039;t going to be easy no matter what you do, but best of luck.
Reply:If I had a story like that, I%26#039;d write a book!!!!
Reply:It%26#039;s a lousy situation. It%26#039;s what you signed up for when you started your life with this man. It%26#039;s a shame his family is afraid of a shower, but you%26#039;re going to have to deal with them from time to time.
Reply:um....
is there any way you can have 2 seperate parties, one for your side of the family and another one some other day for his side of the family?LOL. I wouldn%26#039;t want them over either. good luck.
Reply:move...
Reply:Sounds like a Wayan Brothers movie.
Reply:You married him, which means you%26#039;re stuck with his nasty *** family. deal with it sister!
Reply:sounds like 2 seperate parties would be best. I would have his families at a park (open air flow). I hope your daughter%26#039;s father is the black (clean) sheep of that family. I also hope you don%26#039;t let your daughter visit there home when you are not there (hygiene reasons). This sounds beyond belief. I would probably give them all personal care product baskets for birthdays and Christmas. Air Freshners and baby wipes are your best friend.--That poor little girl.
Reply:oh I can agree with you my family is the same my husband%26#039;s family sucks they talk trash about their owns if you know what i mean my family can%26#039;t stand them because they don%26#039;t shower and they live in the trash therefore I told my husband that I don%26#039;t want them in my babies life I%26#039;m currently pregned and i told him no more embarrassments in public, you take it or leave it whom help you to become a better person? them or me? in this case me but I am not sure about your case!!, so talk to him in a kind sexy sweet way and trust me it works.!!!
Reply:tell your baby daddy that they is not invited if they don%26#039;t get clean reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal good.tell him this is your baby birthday.
ask if %26quot;what if your side of the family was dirty would he want them to come to the party.switch the subject around.
Security
My daughter will be one in october but?
I would agree with the option of 2 parties. However, you will have to confront the situation. She is your child, and she is more important than the family of the father. You will eventually have to do what is best for your daughter no matter who it hurts, or how much. Try talking with the father first about the cleanliness issue, and if he won%26#039;t deal with his family, it will sadly be up to you. Make sure that they understand that there are things that must be done before they can be around your daughter. If they won%26#039;t do them, then it is their choice to remove themselves from your daughter%26#039;s life.
It isn%26#039;t going to be easy no matter what you do, but best of luck.
Reply:If I had a story like that, I%26#039;d write a book!!!!
Reply:It%26#039;s a lousy situation. It%26#039;s what you signed up for when you started your life with this man. It%26#039;s a shame his family is afraid of a shower, but you%26#039;re going to have to deal with them from time to time.
Reply:um....
is there any way you can have 2 seperate parties, one for your side of the family and another one some other day for his side of the family?LOL. I wouldn%26#039;t want them over either. good luck.
Reply:move...
Reply:Sounds like a Wayan Brothers movie.
Reply:You married him, which means you%26#039;re stuck with his nasty *** family. deal with it sister!
Reply:sounds like 2 seperate parties would be best. I would have his families at a park (open air flow). I hope your daughter%26#039;s father is the black (clean) sheep of that family. I also hope you don%26#039;t let your daughter visit there home when you are not there (hygiene reasons). This sounds beyond belief. I would probably give them all personal care product baskets for birthdays and Christmas. Air Freshners and baby wipes are your best friend.--That poor little girl.
Reply:oh I can agree with you my family is the same my husband%26#039;s family sucks they talk trash about their owns if you know what i mean my family can%26#039;t stand them because they don%26#039;t shower and they live in the trash therefore I told my husband that I don%26#039;t want them in my babies life I%26#039;m currently pregned and i told him no more embarrassments in public, you take it or leave it whom help you to become a better person? them or me? in this case me but I am not sure about your case!!, so talk to him in a kind sexy sweet way and trust me it works.!!!
Reply:tell your baby daddy that they is not invited if they don%26#039;t get clean reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal good.tell him this is your baby birthday.
ask if %26quot;what if your side of the family was dirty would he want them to come to the party.switch the subject around.
Security
Funny word meanings..?
Abundance - A baker%26#039;s exercise (A-bun-dance)
Arbitrator - A cook that leaves Arby%26#039;s to work at McDonald%26#039;s.
Arcade - A lemonade type drink served on Noah%26#039;s Ark.
Avoidable - What a bullfighter tries to do.
Babysitter - A small child that has not learned to crawl or walk.
Baloney - Where some hemlines fall.
Band-Aid - A fund to help a band.
Bernadette - The act of torching a mortgage.
Burglarize - What a crook sees with.
Cadillac - Lack of cattle.
Contents - Where con men sleep while on a camping trip.
Control - A short, ugly inmate.
Cookout - The cook%26#039;s day off.
Counterfeiters - Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.
Cowlick - Bashing a cow.
Cowhide - Game of Hide and Seek played by cows.
Detail - Removing a tail.
Dieting - The penalty for exceeding the feed limit.
Dog Paddle - A rolled-up newspaper with which to punish a dog without hurting it.
Doughnut - Holey food.
Eclipse - What a Cockney barber does for a living.
Eyedropper - A clumsy ophthalmologist.
Fan Club - A weapon used by a celebrity so he won%26#039;t be crushed by fans.
Feather Brained - Fuzzy headed.
Feather Head - An American Indian Chief.
Fire Escape - A way for a fire to go out.
First Lady - Eve.
Flying Saucers - The wife is on a rampage.
Funny Paper - (1) A paper that laughs. (2) The paper you read instead of going to church.
Ghost Town - A town full of Haunted Houses.
Girl Scout - A boy that %26quot;scouts%26quot; for girls.
Good-bye - A bargain.
Gossip - 24-hour teller.
Handicap - A head cover that is easy to locate and wear.
Hardship - A ship protected by thick cover.
Hatchet - What a hen does to an egg.
Hay - Grass a-la-mowed.
Headlight - A dizzy spell.
Heavy Duty - Loading an elephant.
Hence - An enclosure around a hen yard.
Heroes - What a guy in a boat does.
High school - A school atop the Sears Building.
High water - The main reason Noah built the ark.
Himalaya - A rooster that lays an egg.
Holy Smoke - A church on fire.
House Keeper - A lady that kicks her husband out and keeps the house.
Ideal Person - A card player that wants to deal everytime.
Illegal - A sick bird.
Installment - Putting a horse in a stall.
Lad - A short ladder.
Laughing Stock - Cattle, horses, sheep and hogs responding to a good joke.
Layaway Plan - A pre-arranged burial plan.
Laying Down The Law - Putting the law aside and making your own rules.
Left Bank - What the robber did when his bag was full of loot.
Life Jacket - A special coat that lasts a lifetime.
Lip Service - Applying lipstick.
Little Dipper - A small boy diving.
Long Jump - When the cow jumped over the moon.
Matchbook - A book about matches.
Megaphone - A very large telephone.
Mistletoe - Any animal with a toe missing.
Misty - How golfers create divots.
Mohair - What bald headed men need.
Monkey Business - A petstore employing monkeys only.
Moron - Someone that spent all night studying for a blood test.
Moth Ball - A special social event for moths.
Negative Feedback - One result of seasickness.
Network - The process of making nets.
Outfit - Pitching a fit outdoors.
Over Leap - When the cow jumped over the moon.
Overloaded - An elephant riding a bicycle.
Oyster Bed - A place for an oyster to sleep.
Pacifist - One that can%26#039;t advocate peace without clinching his fist.
Paradox - Two physicians.
Parasites - What you see from the top of the EiffelTower.
Pedestrian - An endagered species.
Period - A comma that curled up and went to sleep.
Pharmacist - A helper on the farm.
Piggyback - A lost pig is back home.
Pigment - A mint plant grown to feed hogs.
Pineapple - An apple that grew on a pine tree.
Polarize - What penguins see with.
Pole Vault - A vault where poles hid from Hitler.
Polite - A light on a pole.
Polygon - A parrot that got away.
Priesthood - A special headpiece for a priest.
Primate - Removing your spouse from in front of the TV.
Protest - Testing a professional person.
Put-down - To hot to handle.
Quarterback - Change when you pay for a 75¢ item with a dollar bill.
Reform - To gain or lose weight.
Refuse - Replacing a burned out fuse.
Relief - What trees do in the spring.
Remind - A brain transplant.
Rest Stop - The traffic light is stuck on red.
Retire - Replacement of tires.
Ringworm - Worm with a bell.
Rock Music - A lullaby sung in a rocking chair.
Roman - A person that never settles very long in one place.
Sausage - %26quot;Groundog%26quot;.
Scorekeeper - Someone that knows the score but keeps it to himself.
Showoff - The show has been cancelled.
Selfish - What the owner of a seafood store does.
Single Entry - Single people only.
Standing Order - Freeze!
Subdued - Like, a guy who, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man.
Sudafed - Brought litigation against a government official.
Sunny - A bright boy.
Sunbeam - A heat proof beam supporting the sun.
Sunburn - What you basked for.
Sundial - An old-timer.
Sweater - A person that freely perspires.
Syntax - All the money collected at the church from sinners.
Teenagers - People who are doing the things you wish we had thought of when we were younger.
Time Keeper - A guy that didn%26#039;t return your watch.
Tireless - Have a car but have no tires.
Tooth Picks - The choices many dentists give patients to select their artificial teeth.
Touch-Me-Not - A person with a severe sunburn.
Travelers Aid - A soft drink for tourists.
Vitamin - What you do when someone comes to the house.
Waffle Iron - A special additive to put more iron in waffles.
Waterfall - A %26quot;watered-down%26quot; place in a stream.
Well Done - A water, gas or oil well is completed.
Weekend - A book with a blah ending.
Whether - Unpredictable weather.
Wildlife - Living it up!
Witchcraft - Handmade crafts made for Halloween.
Woodchuck - Throwing a heavy pole, post or other item made of wood.
Workout - An outside job.
Writer - One who corrects a wrong.
Year Book - A book that takes a year to read.
Zero Hour - Time kept by a %26quot;cuckoo%26quot; clock.
Funny word meanings..?
Those are soooooooooo Hilarious! Thanks for putting them up!
-Keep it up and you%26#039;ll be a star! : )
Reply:That%26#039;s funny....thanks for the laugh!!
Reply:please tell me you didnt find the time to sit down and come up with all that
Reply:Not funny and WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too long!
Reply:HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Reply:Wow, thanks, lol
my bird
Arbitrator - A cook that leaves Arby%26#039;s to work at McDonald%26#039;s.
Arcade - A lemonade type drink served on Noah%26#039;s Ark.
Avoidable - What a bullfighter tries to do.
Babysitter - A small child that has not learned to crawl or walk.
Baloney - Where some hemlines fall.
Band-Aid - A fund to help a band.
Bernadette - The act of torching a mortgage.
Burglarize - What a crook sees with.
Cadillac - Lack of cattle.
Contents - Where con men sleep while on a camping trip.
Control - A short, ugly inmate.
Cookout - The cook%26#039;s day off.
Counterfeiters - Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.
Cowlick - Bashing a cow.
Cowhide - Game of Hide and Seek played by cows.
Detail - Removing a tail.
Dieting - The penalty for exceeding the feed limit.
Dog Paddle - A rolled-up newspaper with which to punish a dog without hurting it.
Doughnut - Holey food.
Eclipse - What a Cockney barber does for a living.
Eyedropper - A clumsy ophthalmologist.
Fan Club - A weapon used by a celebrity so he won%26#039;t be crushed by fans.
Feather Brained - Fuzzy headed.
Feather Head - An American Indian Chief.
Fire Escape - A way for a fire to go out.
First Lady - Eve.
Flying Saucers - The wife is on a rampage.
Funny Paper - (1) A paper that laughs. (2) The paper you read instead of going to church.
Ghost Town - A town full of Haunted Houses.
Girl Scout - A boy that %26quot;scouts%26quot; for girls.
Good-bye - A bargain.
Gossip - 24-hour teller.
Handicap - A head cover that is easy to locate and wear.
Hardship - A ship protected by thick cover.
Hatchet - What a hen does to an egg.
Hay - Grass a-la-mowed.
Headlight - A dizzy spell.
Heavy Duty - Loading an elephant.
Hence - An enclosure around a hen yard.
Heroes - What a guy in a boat does.
High school - A school atop the Sears Building.
High water - The main reason Noah built the ark.
Himalaya - A rooster that lays an egg.
Holy Smoke - A church on fire.
House Keeper - A lady that kicks her husband out and keeps the house.
Ideal Person - A card player that wants to deal everytime.
Illegal - A sick bird.
Installment - Putting a horse in a stall.
Lad - A short ladder.
Laughing Stock - Cattle, horses, sheep and hogs responding to a good joke.
Layaway Plan - A pre-arranged burial plan.
Laying Down The Law - Putting the law aside and making your own rules.
Left Bank - What the robber did when his bag was full of loot.
Life Jacket - A special coat that lasts a lifetime.
Lip Service - Applying lipstick.
Little Dipper - A small boy diving.
Long Jump - When the cow jumped over the moon.
Matchbook - A book about matches.
Megaphone - A very large telephone.
Mistletoe - Any animal with a toe missing.
Misty - How golfers create divots.
Mohair - What bald headed men need.
Monkey Business - A petstore employing monkeys only.
Moron - Someone that spent all night studying for a blood test.
Moth Ball - A special social event for moths.
Negative Feedback - One result of seasickness.
Network - The process of making nets.
Outfit - Pitching a fit outdoors.
Over Leap - When the cow jumped over the moon.
Overloaded - An elephant riding a bicycle.
Oyster Bed - A place for an oyster to sleep.
Pacifist - One that can%26#039;t advocate peace without clinching his fist.
Paradox - Two physicians.
Parasites - What you see from the top of the EiffelTower.
Pedestrian - An endagered species.
Period - A comma that curled up and went to sleep.
Pharmacist - A helper on the farm.
Piggyback - A lost pig is back home.
Pigment - A mint plant grown to feed hogs.
Pineapple - An apple that grew on a pine tree.
Polarize - What penguins see with.
Pole Vault - A vault where poles hid from Hitler.
Polite - A light on a pole.
Polygon - A parrot that got away.
Priesthood - A special headpiece for a priest.
Primate - Removing your spouse from in front of the TV.
Protest - Testing a professional person.
Put-down - To hot to handle.
Quarterback - Change when you pay for a 75¢ item with a dollar bill.
Reform - To gain or lose weight.
Refuse - Replacing a burned out fuse.
Relief - What trees do in the spring.
Remind - A brain transplant.
Rest Stop - The traffic light is stuck on red.
Retire - Replacement of tires.
Ringworm - Worm with a bell.
Rock Music - A lullaby sung in a rocking chair.
Roman - A person that never settles very long in one place.
Sausage - %26quot;Groundog%26quot;.
Scorekeeper - Someone that knows the score but keeps it to himself.
Showoff - The show has been cancelled.
Selfish - What the owner of a seafood store does.
Single Entry - Single people only.
Standing Order - Freeze!
Subdued - Like, a guy who, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man.
Sudafed - Brought litigation against a government official.
Sunny - A bright boy.
Sunbeam - A heat proof beam supporting the sun.
Sunburn - What you basked for.
Sundial - An old-timer.
Sweater - A person that freely perspires.
Syntax - All the money collected at the church from sinners.
Teenagers - People who are doing the things you wish we had thought of when we were younger.
Time Keeper - A guy that didn%26#039;t return your watch.
Tireless - Have a car but have no tires.
Tooth Picks - The choices many dentists give patients to select their artificial teeth.
Touch-Me-Not - A person with a severe sunburn.
Travelers Aid - A soft drink for tourists.
Vitamin - What you do when someone comes to the house.
Waffle Iron - A special additive to put more iron in waffles.
Waterfall - A %26quot;watered-down%26quot; place in a stream.
Well Done - A water, gas or oil well is completed.
Weekend - A book with a blah ending.
Whether - Unpredictable weather.
Wildlife - Living it up!
Witchcraft - Handmade crafts made for Halloween.
Woodchuck - Throwing a heavy pole, post or other item made of wood.
Workout - An outside job.
Writer - One who corrects a wrong.
Year Book - A book that takes a year to read.
Zero Hour - Time kept by a %26quot;cuckoo%26quot; clock.
Funny word meanings..?
Those are soooooooooo Hilarious! Thanks for putting them up!
-Keep it up and you%26#039;ll be a star! : )
Reply:That%26#039;s funny....thanks for the laugh!!
Reply:please tell me you didnt find the time to sit down and come up with all that
Reply:Not funny and WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too long!
Reply:HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Reply:Wow, thanks, lol
my bird
Heres some more useless facts.?
read these
Many hamsters blink one eye at a time.
A 2000 year old toilet complete with running water, a stone seat, and an armrest was discovered in the tomb of an ancient Chinese king, of the Western Han Dynasty.
The average bed is home to over 6 billion dust mites.
Plastic lawn flamingos outnumber real flamingos in the U.S.A
Whitby, Ontario has more donut stores per capita than any other place in the world.
Starfish have no brain.
Dolphins sleep with one eye open.
Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a novel with over 50,000 words, none of which containing the letter %26quot;E%26quot;.
No president of the United States was an only child.
Bulls are color blind.
Apples are more effective at keeping people awake in the morning than caffeine.
A can of SPAM is opened about every 4 seconds somewhere in the world.
%26quot;Babe%26quot; was played by over 48 pigs.
Mosquitoes have 47 teeth.
Most lipstick is partailly made of fish scales.
Ants never sleep.
The Poison Arrow frog has enough poison to kill 2200 people.
The largest pumpkin weighed 1006 lbs. - **Thank you AL for pointing this correction out! - fp
The largest cabbage weighed 144 lbs.
The largest known kidney stone weighed 1.36 kilograms.
Kidney stones come in any color from yellow to brown.
Your right lung takes in more air than your left one does.
Women blink twice as many times as men do.
A bowling pin only has to tilt 7.5 degrees in order to fall down.
The first flushing toilet seen on TV was on Leave it to Beaver, though only the tank of it was shown.
The life span of a taste bud is ten days.
The shortest commercial ever was only 4 frames of a second.
Pi has been calculated to 2,260,321,363 digits.
The billionth digit in Pi is 9.
The first 100 numbers of Pi are:
3.141592653589793238462643383279502884...
A stretched out Slinky is 87 feet long.
There are 86,400 seconds in day.
The hundred billionth Crayola crayon was Perriwinkle Blue.
Dr. Seuss pronounced %26quot;Seuss%26quot; so it rhymed with %26quot;rejoice%26quot;.
Babies are born without knee caps. They appear when the child is 2-6 years of age.
An iguana can stay under water for 28 minutes.
A group of unicorns is called a blessing.
A group of kangaroos is called a mob.
A group of whales is called a pod.
A group of geese is called a gaggle.
A group of owls is called a parliament.
A group of ravens is called a murder.
A group of bear are called a sleuth.
12 or more cows are called a flink.
A baby oyster is called a spat.
The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds.
Most cows give more milk when they listen to music.
In the October 22, 1945 edition of Life magazine there was a picture of a chicken with its head cut off. It was alive for several months that way.
Spotted skunks do handstands before they spray.
The average garden variety caterpillar has 248 muscles in its head.
A goldfish has a memory span of about 3 seconds.
Pinocchio was made of pine, and the name even means %26#039;pine head%26#039;
A mule won%26#039;t sink in quicksand but a donkey will.
Alfred Hitchcock had no belly button (it was eliminated during surgery).
Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark.
The average human produces 10,000 gallons of saliva in a lifetime.
A quarter has 119 grooves around the edge, while a dime has 118. A Susan B Anthony has 133 grooves.
Cranberry Jell-0 is the only kind that contains real fruit.
The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
Every time you lick a stamp you consume approx. 1/10 of a calorie.
Jewish stamps are certified Kosher.
The pound sign (#) is called an octothorpe.
Maine is the toothpick capital of the world.
New Jersey has a spoon museum with over 5,400 spoons from almost all the states.
There was once a town in West Virginia called %26quot;6%26quot;.
Singapore has only one train station.
The parking meter was invented in North Dakota.
Napoleon made his battle plans in a sandbox.
Roman Emperor Caligula made his horse a senator.
The green stuff on the occasional freak potato chip is chlorophyll.
If you eat too many carrots you will turn orange (temporarily).
Pluto%26#039;s orbit crossed Neptune%26#039;s, occasionally making Pluto the eighth planet from the sun from 1979 until 1999.
The earth is approx. 6,588,000,000,000,000,000 tons.
The force of 1 billion people jumping at the same time is equal to 500 tons of TNT.
Howdy Doody had 48 freckles.
The first word spoken on the moon was %26quot;Okay%26quot;.
Neil Armstrong stepped on the moon with his left foot first.
The average speed of Heinz ketchup leaving the bottle is 25 miles per year.
Hilary Clinton once said %26#039;We are the President%26#039;.
The reported percent of women who wash their hands after leaving a restroom is 80%.
The reported percent of men who wash their hands after using a restroom is 55%.
There are typically 333 toilet paper squares on a new toilet paper roll.
The Eiffel Tower has 2,500,000 rivets in it.
%26quot;Jaws%26quot; is the most common name for a goldfish.
On an average work day, a typist%26#039;s fingers travel 12.6 miles.
The average American eats 2 donuts a day.
The longest word in the Old Testament is Malhershalahashbaz.
The longest recorded time a person has been in a coma is 37 years.
Every minute in the U.S 6 people turn 17.
It takes the Where%26#039;s Waldo artist one month to complete a drawing.
About 2500 lefties die each year using products designed for righties.
A baby is born approx. every 7 seconds.
An estimated 10 tons of space dust falls on the Earth every day.
On average, a 4 year old child asks 437 questions a day.
Blue and white are the most common school colors.
Swimming pools in Phoenix, Arizona, pick up about 20 pounds of dust a year.
The first message tapped by Samuel Morse over his invention the telegraph was: %26#039;What hath God wrought?%26#039;
The first words spoken by over Alexander Bell over the telephone were: %26#039;Watson come here, I need you%26#039;.
The first words spoken by Thomas Edison over the phonograph were: %26#039;Mary had a little lamb%26#039;
The four words in the English language with the letters uu are: vacuum, residuum, triduum and continuum.
A baby in Florida was named: Truewilllaughinglifebuckyboomermanifestd... (His middle name is George James).
It is illegal to ride a street car on Sunday if you have been eating garlic in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
The average American will eat 200 pounds of peanuts and 10,000 pounds of meat in their lifetime.
A new book is published about every 13 minutes in America during business hours.
America%26#039;s best selling ice-cream flavor is vanilla.
American%26#039;s eat about 18 billion hot dogs a year.
The average American eats 134 pounds of sugar a year.
Every year the sun loses approx. 360 million tons.
Because of Animal Crackers, many kids until they reach the age of ten, believe a bear is as tall as a giraffe.
You can tell if a skunk is close by if you smell only .000 000 000 000 071 ounce of its spray.
Animal breeders in Russia once claimed to have bred sheep with blue wool.
The following are sounds as interpreted by the corresponding languages:
A dog in East Africa says %26quot;woo-woo%26quot;.
A dog in Bangkok says %26quot;bahk-bahk%26quot;.
A dog in Japan says %26quot;wan-wan%26quot;.
A dog in Russia says %26quot;gahf-gahft%26quot;.
A cow in Thailand says %26quot;oo-ah%26quot;
A cat in Japan says %26quot;neow%26quot;.
A cat in Thailand says %26quot;mao%26quot;.
A pig in Japan says %26quot;moo-moo%26quot;.
A pig in Thailand says %26quot;oot-oot%26quot;.
A pig in Russia says %26quot;ha-roo%26quot;.
A rooster in Germany says %26quot;ay-ee-ache-ache%26quot;
Penguins are the only bird that can leap into the air like porpoises.
India has about 50 million monkeys.
By some unknown means, an iguana can end its own life.
Americans spend around $3 billion for cat and dog food a year.
Pigs can cover a mile in 7.5 minutes when running at top speed.
You breathe about 10 million times a year.
You have a better chance of having a bad dream in a cold room than a warm one.
The first non-human to win an Oscar was Mickey Mouse.
Lee Harvey Oswald was booked with mug shot number 54018.
The Gulf Stream could carry a message in a bottle at an average of 4 miles per hour.
The bulls eye on a regulation dartboard must be 5 feet 8 inches off the ground.
The foot is the most common body part bitten by insects.
The doorbell was invented in 1831.
There are 225 squares on a Scrabble board.
The monkey wrench was invented by Charles Moncke.
Japan is the largest exporter of frog%26#039;s legs.
There are seven points on the Statue of Liberty%26#039;s crown.
There are approx. 550 hairs in the eyebrow.
The most common non-contagious disease in the world is tooth decay.
The shell constitutes 12 percent of an egg%26#039;s weight.
A squid has 10 tentacles.
A snail%26#039;s reproductive organs are in its head.
A cow%26#039;s only sweat glands are in its nose.
The world AND appears 46,277 times in the Bible.
The first word played in the Scrabble rules demonstration game is %26quot;Horn.%26quot;
The typical person goes to the bathroom 6 times a day.
There are 17 steps leading up to Sherlock Holmes%26#039; apartment.
Anthony Robbins%26#039; infomercial airs every half an hour, 24 hours a day somewhere in the USA.
When a horned toad is angry, it squirts blood from its eyes.
Napoleon was terrified of cats.
The first Lifesaver flavor was peppermint.
Heres some more useless facts.?
Thanks i will sleep better tonight knowing all of that!
Reply:Excellent example of how cut and paste is a joke :-)
Reply:Very informative but how many words are there in this question.
Reply:So, what%26#039;s the question then?
Reply:Somebody wake me up !!
Reply:i Neva knew that thank you
Reply:I have to know - was that kidney stone found in a human??? I hope not - ouch!
Reply:You%26#039;re right, they were usless facts.
Reply:very good
Reply:kerry butter you missed one out %26quot;KERRY BUTTER%26quot; is made in kerry ireland
Reply:Personnaly I prefer clover - mainly beacause of the song!
Oh we all love clover it%26#039;s the way that it%26#039;s churned!
Enjoyable randomized facts!
Reply:Great, spam mail on Q%26amp;A, well at least I get points for it......
Reply:Well done,kid.
But don%26#039;t give up the day-job!
Reply:so what is the question???????
Reply:I only got 46,276 ANDs in the Bible and the spaces on the scrabble board are not squares and im glad im not a leftie (if these are even true)
Reply:Cool. Though pretty useless as previouly mentioned. Did you have all these just floating at the top of your head? Kind of weird and sad if that%26#039;s true.
By the way SPAM stands for Salted Pork And haM. I have a few myself.
hotels reviews
Many hamsters blink one eye at a time.
A 2000 year old toilet complete with running water, a stone seat, and an armrest was discovered in the tomb of an ancient Chinese king, of the Western Han Dynasty.
The average bed is home to over 6 billion dust mites.
Plastic lawn flamingos outnumber real flamingos in the U.S.A
Whitby, Ontario has more donut stores per capita than any other place in the world.
Starfish have no brain.
Dolphins sleep with one eye open.
Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a novel with over 50,000 words, none of which containing the letter %26quot;E%26quot;.
No president of the United States was an only child.
Bulls are color blind.
Apples are more effective at keeping people awake in the morning than caffeine.
A can of SPAM is opened about every 4 seconds somewhere in the world.
%26quot;Babe%26quot; was played by over 48 pigs.
Mosquitoes have 47 teeth.
Most lipstick is partailly made of fish scales.
Ants never sleep.
The Poison Arrow frog has enough poison to kill 2200 people.
The largest pumpkin weighed 1006 lbs. - **Thank you AL for pointing this correction out! - fp
The largest cabbage weighed 144 lbs.
The largest known kidney stone weighed 1.36 kilograms.
Kidney stones come in any color from yellow to brown.
Your right lung takes in more air than your left one does.
Women blink twice as many times as men do.
A bowling pin only has to tilt 7.5 degrees in order to fall down.
The first flushing toilet seen on TV was on Leave it to Beaver, though only the tank of it was shown.
The life span of a taste bud is ten days.
The shortest commercial ever was only 4 frames of a second.
Pi has been calculated to 2,260,321,363 digits.
The billionth digit in Pi is 9.
The first 100 numbers of Pi are:
3.141592653589793238462643383279502884...
A stretched out Slinky is 87 feet long.
There are 86,400 seconds in day.
The hundred billionth Crayola crayon was Perriwinkle Blue.
Dr. Seuss pronounced %26quot;Seuss%26quot; so it rhymed with %26quot;rejoice%26quot;.
Babies are born without knee caps. They appear when the child is 2-6 years of age.
An iguana can stay under water for 28 minutes.
A group of unicorns is called a blessing.
A group of kangaroos is called a mob.
A group of whales is called a pod.
A group of geese is called a gaggle.
A group of owls is called a parliament.
A group of ravens is called a murder.
A group of bear are called a sleuth.
12 or more cows are called a flink.
A baby oyster is called a spat.
The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds.
Most cows give more milk when they listen to music.
In the October 22, 1945 edition of Life magazine there was a picture of a chicken with its head cut off. It was alive for several months that way.
Spotted skunks do handstands before they spray.
The average garden variety caterpillar has 248 muscles in its head.
A goldfish has a memory span of about 3 seconds.
Pinocchio was made of pine, and the name even means %26#039;pine head%26#039;
A mule won%26#039;t sink in quicksand but a donkey will.
Alfred Hitchcock had no belly button (it was eliminated during surgery).
Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark.
The average human produces 10,000 gallons of saliva in a lifetime.
A quarter has 119 grooves around the edge, while a dime has 118. A Susan B Anthony has 133 grooves.
Cranberry Jell-0 is the only kind that contains real fruit.
The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
Every time you lick a stamp you consume approx. 1/10 of a calorie.
Jewish stamps are certified Kosher.
The pound sign (#) is called an octothorpe.
Maine is the toothpick capital of the world.
New Jersey has a spoon museum with over 5,400 spoons from almost all the states.
There was once a town in West Virginia called %26quot;6%26quot;.
Singapore has only one train station.
The parking meter was invented in North Dakota.
Napoleon made his battle plans in a sandbox.
Roman Emperor Caligula made his horse a senator.
The green stuff on the occasional freak potato chip is chlorophyll.
If you eat too many carrots you will turn orange (temporarily).
Pluto%26#039;s orbit crossed Neptune%26#039;s, occasionally making Pluto the eighth planet from the sun from 1979 until 1999.
The earth is approx. 6,588,000,000,000,000,000 tons.
The force of 1 billion people jumping at the same time is equal to 500 tons of TNT.
Howdy Doody had 48 freckles.
The first word spoken on the moon was %26quot;Okay%26quot;.
Neil Armstrong stepped on the moon with his left foot first.
The average speed of Heinz ketchup leaving the bottle is 25 miles per year.
Hilary Clinton once said %26#039;We are the President%26#039;.
The reported percent of women who wash their hands after leaving a restroom is 80%.
The reported percent of men who wash their hands after using a restroom is 55%.
There are typically 333 toilet paper squares on a new toilet paper roll.
The Eiffel Tower has 2,500,000 rivets in it.
%26quot;Jaws%26quot; is the most common name for a goldfish.
On an average work day, a typist%26#039;s fingers travel 12.6 miles.
The average American eats 2 donuts a day.
The longest word in the Old Testament is Malhershalahashbaz.
The longest recorded time a person has been in a coma is 37 years.
Every minute in the U.S 6 people turn 17.
It takes the Where%26#039;s Waldo artist one month to complete a drawing.
About 2500 lefties die each year using products designed for righties.
A baby is born approx. every 7 seconds.
An estimated 10 tons of space dust falls on the Earth every day.
On average, a 4 year old child asks 437 questions a day.
Blue and white are the most common school colors.
Swimming pools in Phoenix, Arizona, pick up about 20 pounds of dust a year.
The first message tapped by Samuel Morse over his invention the telegraph was: %26#039;What hath God wrought?%26#039;
The first words spoken by over Alexander Bell over the telephone were: %26#039;Watson come here, I need you%26#039;.
The first words spoken by Thomas Edison over the phonograph were: %26#039;Mary had a little lamb%26#039;
The four words in the English language with the letters uu are: vacuum, residuum, triduum and continuum.
A baby in Florida was named: Truewilllaughinglifebuckyboomermanifestd... (His middle name is George James).
It is illegal to ride a street car on Sunday if you have been eating garlic in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
The average American will eat 200 pounds of peanuts and 10,000 pounds of meat in their lifetime.
A new book is published about every 13 minutes in America during business hours.
America%26#039;s best selling ice-cream flavor is vanilla.
American%26#039;s eat about 18 billion hot dogs a year.
The average American eats 134 pounds of sugar a year.
Every year the sun loses approx. 360 million tons.
Because of Animal Crackers, many kids until they reach the age of ten, believe a bear is as tall as a giraffe.
You can tell if a skunk is close by if you smell only .000 000 000 000 071 ounce of its spray.
Animal breeders in Russia once claimed to have bred sheep with blue wool.
The following are sounds as interpreted by the corresponding languages:
A dog in East Africa says %26quot;woo-woo%26quot;.
A dog in Bangkok says %26quot;bahk-bahk%26quot;.
A dog in Japan says %26quot;wan-wan%26quot;.
A dog in Russia says %26quot;gahf-gahft%26quot;.
A cow in Thailand says %26quot;oo-ah%26quot;
A cat in Japan says %26quot;neow%26quot;.
A cat in Thailand says %26quot;mao%26quot;.
A pig in Japan says %26quot;moo-moo%26quot;.
A pig in Thailand says %26quot;oot-oot%26quot;.
A pig in Russia says %26quot;ha-roo%26quot;.
A rooster in Germany says %26quot;ay-ee-ache-ache%26quot;
Penguins are the only bird that can leap into the air like porpoises.
India has about 50 million monkeys.
By some unknown means, an iguana can end its own life.
Americans spend around $3 billion for cat and dog food a year.
Pigs can cover a mile in 7.5 minutes when running at top speed.
You breathe about 10 million times a year.
You have a better chance of having a bad dream in a cold room than a warm one.
The first non-human to win an Oscar was Mickey Mouse.
Lee Harvey Oswald was booked with mug shot number 54018.
The Gulf Stream could carry a message in a bottle at an average of 4 miles per hour.
The bulls eye on a regulation dartboard must be 5 feet 8 inches off the ground.
The foot is the most common body part bitten by insects.
The doorbell was invented in 1831.
There are 225 squares on a Scrabble board.
The monkey wrench was invented by Charles Moncke.
Japan is the largest exporter of frog%26#039;s legs.
There are seven points on the Statue of Liberty%26#039;s crown.
There are approx. 550 hairs in the eyebrow.
The most common non-contagious disease in the world is tooth decay.
The shell constitutes 12 percent of an egg%26#039;s weight.
A squid has 10 tentacles.
A snail%26#039;s reproductive organs are in its head.
A cow%26#039;s only sweat glands are in its nose.
The world AND appears 46,277 times in the Bible.
The first word played in the Scrabble rules demonstration game is %26quot;Horn.%26quot;
The typical person goes to the bathroom 6 times a day.
There are 17 steps leading up to Sherlock Holmes%26#039; apartment.
Anthony Robbins%26#039; infomercial airs every half an hour, 24 hours a day somewhere in the USA.
When a horned toad is angry, it squirts blood from its eyes.
Napoleon was terrified of cats.
The first Lifesaver flavor was peppermint.
Heres some more useless facts.?
Thanks i will sleep better tonight knowing all of that!
Reply:Excellent example of how cut and paste is a joke :-)
Reply:Very informative but how many words are there in this question.
Reply:So, what%26#039;s the question then?
Reply:Somebody wake me up !!
Reply:i Neva knew that thank you
Reply:I have to know - was that kidney stone found in a human??? I hope not - ouch!
Reply:You%26#039;re right, they were usless facts.
Reply:very good
Reply:kerry butter you missed one out %26quot;KERRY BUTTER%26quot; is made in kerry ireland
Reply:Personnaly I prefer clover - mainly beacause of the song!
Oh we all love clover it%26#039;s the way that it%26#039;s churned!
Enjoyable randomized facts!
Reply:Great, spam mail on Q%26amp;A, well at least I get points for it......
Reply:Well done,kid.
But don%26#039;t give up the day-job!
Reply:so what is the question???????
Reply:I only got 46,276 ANDs in the Bible and the spaces on the scrabble board are not squares and im glad im not a leftie (if these are even true)
Reply:Cool. Though pretty useless as previouly mentioned. Did you have all these just floating at the top of your head? Kind of weird and sad if that%26#039;s true.
By the way SPAM stands for Salted Pork And haM. I have a few myself.
hotels reviews
Which blonde joke is the best? if you want more funny ones click on my profile and questions. more there.?
Q: How can you tell who is a blonde%26#039;s boyfriend?
A: He%26#039;s the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead
Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets.
Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver
Q: Why did they call the blonde %26quot;twinkie%26quot;?
A: She liked to be filled with cream.
Q: What%26#039;s the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A: In the morning a rooster says, %26quot;Cock%26#039;ll-doodl-doooo%26quot;, while a blonde says, %26quot;Any-cock%26#039;ll-doooo
Q: What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men.
A: Their heels
Q: How do you describe the perfect blonde?
A: 3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on.
Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...
And last but not least ma favorite!
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can only put 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
Which blonde joke is the best? if you want more funny ones click on my profile and questions. more there.?
What do you call a blonde with a runny nose ?
FULL
Reply:youre a pig
Reply:rudey putudy
Reply:1 for u
How are a blonde and a turtle alike?
a: once you get them on there backs there screwed
Reply:booooo
my cat
A: He%26#039;s the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead
Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets.
Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver
Q: Why did they call the blonde %26quot;twinkie%26quot;?
A: She liked to be filled with cream.
Q: What%26#039;s the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A: In the morning a rooster says, %26quot;Cock%26#039;ll-doodl-doooo%26quot;, while a blonde says, %26quot;Any-cock%26#039;ll-doooo
Q: What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men.
A: Their heels
Q: How do you describe the perfect blonde?
A: 3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on.
Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...
And last but not least ma favorite!
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can only put 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
Which blonde joke is the best? if you want more funny ones click on my profile and questions. more there.?
What do you call a blonde with a runny nose ?
FULL
Reply:youre a pig
Reply:rudey putudy
Reply:1 for u
How are a blonde and a turtle alike?
a: once you get them on there backs there screwed
Reply:booooo
my cat
A huge, no MASSIVE selection of blonde jokes, funny.?
A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, %26quot; Officer, I%26#039;m so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!%26quot; The officer looks at her, then says, %26quot;Ma%26#039;am, that%26#039;s your air freshener.%26quot;
Q: What do you call a blonde in a Volkswagen?
A: FarFromThinking
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver%26#039;s License?
A: Because she got an %26quot;F%26quot; in sex.
A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said %26quot;DISNEYLAND LEFT%26quot;.
After thinking for a minute, she said to herself %26quot;oh well !%26quot; and turned around an drove home.
On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said %26quot;CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES%26quot;.
By the time she drove eight miles, shehad cleaned 43 restrooms.
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working?
A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.
Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?
A: Divorcee%26#039;
The Unites States government has issued a recall on all cars and trucks that have a headlight dimmer switch on the turn signal switch. The purpose for this is to cut the traffic accidents at night by 90%. Apparently that the 90% that they plan to cut is from blonds, because they keep getting their foot stuck in the steering wheel.
Q: Why can%26#039;t a blonde get a drivers license?
A: Because every time the instructor says %26quot;Let%26#039;s park%26quot; she jumps in the back seat.
Q: What do blondes and turtles have in common?
A: When they are on their backs they are screwed.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: The mosquito stops sucking after you smack it.
Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks %26quot;Where did you get that?%26quot;
A: The pig says, %26quot;I won her in a raffle!%26quot;
Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing?
A: She was run over by the zambonis machine
(note from Zelo: for you REAL blondes out there that is the machine that makes ice in the ice-skating rinks!).
Q: Why didn%26#039;t the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A1: She%26#039;d just dyed her hair.
A2: She%26#039;d just blow dried her hair and she didn%26#039;t want it blown around too much.
Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.
A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over her. The blonde says,
1. %26quot;Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would%26#039;ve hit me right in the face!!!%26quot;
2. %26quot;Good thing that cows don%26#039;t fly.%26quot;
There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, %26quot;I%26#039;m going to try to swim to shore.%26quot; So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead, said to herself, %26quot;I wonder if she made it.%26quot; I guess it%26#039;s better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve.%26quot; So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
So the blonde thought to herself, %26quot;I wonder if they made it! I think I%26#039;d better try to make it, too.%26quot; So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, %26quot;I%26#039;m too tired to go on!%26quot; So she swam back.
I told my blonde girlfriend that I was going skeet shooting.
She told me she didn%26#039;t know how to cook them.
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, %26quot;Awww, look at the dead birdie.%26quot;
The blonde stops, looks up, and says, %26quot;Where?%26quot;
Q: Did you hear about the blonde skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!
Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?
A: %26quot;Why, I just love nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?%26quot;
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.
Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.
Q: How does a blonde kill a worm?
A: She burys it.
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said %26quot;Oh, look at the deer tracks.%26quot; The other blonde looks and says %26quot;Those aren%26#039;t deer tracks, those are wolf tracks.%26quot; %26quot;No. Those are deer tracks.%26quot; They keep arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were both killed by a train.
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been sighted.
A blonde opened a box of Cheerios® and exclaimed %26quot;LOOK! A box of donut seeds!
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on her head?
A: All you can eat under a buck.
Q: Why is a blonde like a hardware store?
A: They are both 10¢ a screw!
Q: What is a blonde%26#039;s favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme!
Q: What did the blonde%26#039;s right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They%26#039;ve never met.
A: Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.
Q: What%26#039;s the mating call of the blonde?
A: %26quot;I%26#039;m *sooo* drunk!%26quot;
Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) %26quot;I said: I%26#039;m drunk!%26quot;
Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.
Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
Q: Why do blondes where big hoop earrings?
A: To put their feet through.
Q: What%26#039;s a brunette%26#039;s mating call?
A: Has that blonde gone yet?
A2: When is that blonde ***** going to leave!?
A3: %26quot;All the blondes have gone home!%26quot;
Q: What do you say to a blonde that won%26#039;t give in?
A: %26quot;Have another beer.%26quot;
Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.
Q: What%26#039;s the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
A: You don%26#039;t lend the Porsche out to your friend.
Q: What%26#039;s the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
A: You don%26#039;t let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and %26quot;The Titanic%26quot;?
A: They know how many men went down on %26quot;The Titanic%26quot;.
Q: What%26#039;s the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A1: Introduces him/her self.
A2: Walks home.
Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
A: By the buckle print on her forehead.
Q: How can you tell who is a blonde%26#039;s boyfriend?
A: He%26#039;s the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead.
Q: What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant?
A: Her feet!
Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?
A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.
Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets.
Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
Q: Why did the blonde cross the road?
A1: Forget the road, what was she doing out of the bedroom!?
A2: I don%26#039;t know.
R: Neither did she.
Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A: She realized she gave her last *******.
Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!
Q: Why did they call the blonde %26quot;twinkie%26quot;?
A: She liked to be filled with cream.
Did you hear the one about the blonde who thought that %26quot;love handles%26quot; referred to her ears?
Q: What%26#039;s the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A: In the morning a rooster says, %26quot;Cock%26#039;ll-doodl-doooo%26quot;, while a blonde says, %26quot;Any-cock%26#039;ll-doooo.%26quot;
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York?
A: The Grand Old Duke of York only %26#039;had%26#039; 10000 men.
Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn%26#039;t get Hearing Aides.
Q: What%26#039;s the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?
A: The prostitute says, %26quot;Aren%26#039;t you done yet?%26quot;
The nympho says, %26quot;Are you done already?%26quot;
The blonde says, %26quot;Beige...I think I%26#039;ll paint the ceiling beige.%26quot;
Q: What%26#039;s the difference between a blonde and a telephone?
A: It costs 30 cents to use a telephone.
Q: What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men.
A: Their heels.
Confucius say; blonde who fly upside down have crack up.
Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A: She picks up her purse and goes home.
A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:
Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!
Blonde: That%26#039;s nothing; last night I had over a hundred.
Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.
Blonde: ( looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy.
Q: How do you describe the perfect blonde?
A: 3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on.
Q: Why do blondes have vaginas?
A: So guys will talk to them at parties.
... then there was the blonde who started the restaurant with the slogan %26quot;Billions Served - just today%26quot;
Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair?
A: They pull up their pants.
Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can only put 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
A huge, no MASSIVE selection of blonde jokes, funny.?
Nice one!
A star for u!
Reply:some good ones in there!!
Reply:cant stand blond jokes and NO am not blond
Reply:that is naughty! and i!m going to tell my mam!!
Reply:Excellent Jokes...welll done...made me laugh!!!!
Reply:as crude as some of those were, rofl
and about the nuclear fission one, thats a redneck jooke
Reply:Funny, YES! Have any more?
Reply:very funny
Reply:that was certainly massive hun, pmsl
star time
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Reply:ha ha ha funny
thanks for a laugh
10/10
Reply:Ha ha ha.!!!
Excellent ones there Mechelle.!!!
Got me laughing here so 10/10.!!!
Cheers lady.!!
Reply:LOL, wow that was a whole lot. Lots of good ones in there!
Reply:Brilliant! Have a star, and Im Blonde!!
Reply:hahahahhahahahahah lol
ur sooo funny
10/10
u get star
Reply:You sley me! lol.
family nanny
Q: What do you call a blonde in a Volkswagen?
A: FarFromThinking
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver%26#039;s License?
A: Because she got an %26quot;F%26quot; in sex.
A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said %26quot;DISNEYLAND LEFT%26quot;.
After thinking for a minute, she said to herself %26quot;oh well !%26quot; and turned around an drove home.
On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said %26quot;CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES%26quot;.
By the time she drove eight miles, shehad cleaned 43 restrooms.
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working?
A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.
Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?
A: Divorcee%26#039;
The Unites States government has issued a recall on all cars and trucks that have a headlight dimmer switch on the turn signal switch. The purpose for this is to cut the traffic accidents at night by 90%. Apparently that the 90% that they plan to cut is from blonds, because they keep getting their foot stuck in the steering wheel.
Q: Why can%26#039;t a blonde get a drivers license?
A: Because every time the instructor says %26quot;Let%26#039;s park%26quot; she jumps in the back seat.
Q: What do blondes and turtles have in common?
A: When they are on their backs they are screwed.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: The mosquito stops sucking after you smack it.
Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks %26quot;Where did you get that?%26quot;
A: The pig says, %26quot;I won her in a raffle!%26quot;
Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing?
A: She was run over by the zambonis machine
(note from Zelo: for you REAL blondes out there that is the machine that makes ice in the ice-skating rinks!).
Q: Why didn%26#039;t the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A1: She%26#039;d just dyed her hair.
A2: She%26#039;d just blow dried her hair and she didn%26#039;t want it blown around too much.
Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.
A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over her. The blonde says,
1. %26quot;Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would%26#039;ve hit me right in the face!!!%26quot;
2. %26quot;Good thing that cows don%26#039;t fly.%26quot;
There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, %26quot;I%26#039;m going to try to swim to shore.%26quot; So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead, said to herself, %26quot;I wonder if she made it.%26quot; I guess it%26#039;s better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve.%26quot; So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
So the blonde thought to herself, %26quot;I wonder if they made it! I think I%26#039;d better try to make it, too.%26quot; So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, %26quot;I%26#039;m too tired to go on!%26quot; So she swam back.
I told my blonde girlfriend that I was going skeet shooting.
She told me she didn%26#039;t know how to cook them.
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, %26quot;Awww, look at the dead birdie.%26quot;
The blonde stops, looks up, and says, %26quot;Where?%26quot;
Q: Did you hear about the blonde skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!
Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?
A: %26quot;Why, I just love nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?%26quot;
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.
Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.
Q: How does a blonde kill a worm?
A: She burys it.
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said %26quot;Oh, look at the deer tracks.%26quot; The other blonde looks and says %26quot;Those aren%26#039;t deer tracks, those are wolf tracks.%26quot; %26quot;No. Those are deer tracks.%26quot; They keep arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were both killed by a train.
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been sighted.
A blonde opened a box of Cheerios® and exclaimed %26quot;LOOK! A box of donut seeds!
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on her head?
A: All you can eat under a buck.
Q: Why is a blonde like a hardware store?
A: They are both 10¢ a screw!
Q: What is a blonde%26#039;s favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme!
Q: What did the blonde%26#039;s right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They%26#039;ve never met.
A: Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.
Q: What%26#039;s the mating call of the blonde?
A: %26quot;I%26#039;m *sooo* drunk!%26quot;
Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) %26quot;I said: I%26#039;m drunk!%26quot;
Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.
Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
Q: Why do blondes where big hoop earrings?
A: To put their feet through.
Q: What%26#039;s a brunette%26#039;s mating call?
A: Has that blonde gone yet?
A2: When is that blonde ***** going to leave!?
A3: %26quot;All the blondes have gone home!%26quot;
Q: What do you say to a blonde that won%26#039;t give in?
A: %26quot;Have another beer.%26quot;
Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.
Q: What%26#039;s the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
A: You don%26#039;t lend the Porsche out to your friend.
Q: What%26#039;s the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
A: You don%26#039;t let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and %26quot;The Titanic%26quot;?
A: They know how many men went down on %26quot;The Titanic%26quot;.
Q: What%26#039;s the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A1: Introduces him/her self.
A2: Walks home.
Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
A: By the buckle print on her forehead.
Q: How can you tell who is a blonde%26#039;s boyfriend?
A: He%26#039;s the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead.
Q: What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant?
A: Her feet!
Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?
A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.
Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets.
Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
Q: Why did the blonde cross the road?
A1: Forget the road, what was she doing out of the bedroom!?
A2: I don%26#039;t know.
R: Neither did she.
Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A: She realized she gave her last *******.
Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!
Q: Why did they call the blonde %26quot;twinkie%26quot;?
A: She liked to be filled with cream.
Did you hear the one about the blonde who thought that %26quot;love handles%26quot; referred to her ears?
Q: What%26#039;s the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A: In the morning a rooster says, %26quot;Cock%26#039;ll-doodl-doooo%26quot;, while a blonde says, %26quot;Any-cock%26#039;ll-doooo.%26quot;
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York?
A: The Grand Old Duke of York only %26#039;had%26#039; 10000 men.
Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn%26#039;t get Hearing Aides.
Q: What%26#039;s the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?
A: The prostitute says, %26quot;Aren%26#039;t you done yet?%26quot;
The nympho says, %26quot;Are you done already?%26quot;
The blonde says, %26quot;Beige...I think I%26#039;ll paint the ceiling beige.%26quot;
Q: What%26#039;s the difference between a blonde and a telephone?
A: It costs 30 cents to use a telephone.
Q: What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men.
A: Their heels.
Confucius say; blonde who fly upside down have crack up.
Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A: She picks up her purse and goes home.
A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:
Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!
Blonde: That%26#039;s nothing; last night I had over a hundred.
Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.
Blonde: ( looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy.
Q: How do you describe the perfect blonde?
A: 3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on.
Q: Why do blondes have vaginas?
A: So guys will talk to them at parties.
... then there was the blonde who started the restaurant with the slogan %26quot;Billions Served - just today%26quot;
Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair?
A: They pull up their pants.
Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can only put 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
A huge, no MASSIVE selection of blonde jokes, funny.?
Nice one!
A star for u!
Reply:some good ones in there!!
Reply:cant stand blond jokes and NO am not blond
Reply:that is naughty! and i!m going to tell my mam!!
Reply:Excellent Jokes...welll done...made me laugh!!!!
Reply:as crude as some of those were, rofl
and about the nuclear fission one, thats a redneck jooke
Reply:Funny, YES! Have any more?
Reply:very funny
Reply:that was certainly massive hun, pmsl
star time
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Reply:ha ha ha funny
thanks for a laugh
10/10
Reply:Ha ha ha.!!!
Excellent ones there Mechelle.!!!
Got me laughing here so 10/10.!!!
Cheers lady.!!
Reply:LOL, wow that was a whole lot. Lots of good ones in there!
Reply:Brilliant! Have a star, and Im Blonde!!
Reply:hahahahhahahahahah lol
ur sooo funny
10/10
u get star
Reply:You sley me! lol.
family nanny
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